I often wonder...

Let's start with the verse first today:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

— Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)'

My hand is sore. From all of the knocking. I am weary and worn in so many ways. Yet each day begins anew! I have never once awakened in the morning and felt hopeless. But as the day goes on, I knock through prayer and thought and intention and good old fashioned positivity.

There are some days when I waiver.. if "God's will be done" then why pray at all? But if God's will is for me to pray, worship, be specific and bold in my requests, then he must know what they are, from me. So, I knock. I seek. I want my heart to be ready when he is ready to bestow. I say bring it! ... and then I remember: it's already here. God's grace has been around me this whole time. There are days and moments when I can feel it more perhaps, but it's always here. Even in our darkest hour (which according to my favorite songwriter, David Crosby is "always just before the dawn").

Our most recent and ongoing life's struggles have pushed me in spiritual directions at their extremes. And NOW, NOW I can see clearly that the extreme opposite of despair is HOPE and GLORY. And as the days go by, I can feel more of the upswing than the low-end. PRAISE GOD!

I am knocking and will continue to do so... the Lord is good, gracious, unchanging and all powerful, I seek.. and I cannot wait to see what I'll find...